Relationships today

Why 80+% of relationships are f**ked up… And How To Fix It

Why don’t guys approach girls/women anymore? Why girls lie and are so passive? Why people can’t communicate each other, even if we are so “modern”? Relationships clearly don’t look as they should in our “modern” society.

Modern society is full of people who know nothing about themselves, but know everything about others. Emotionally blocked people who tell you what to do and you happily listen to them, like they are your guides. It’s like you come to a doctor, a random guy who sees you for the first time in his life and you give him away all the responsibility for your health, just because he’s a so called “authority”.

The problem is huge and very complicated, but I will try to focus on the core parts of it. That would probably make the most notable difference in our lifes. Unfortunately, it’s both men’s and women’s fault.

This article is not a provocation. It’s an invitation to discussion. I want to put your attention into some specific behaviors that are there, and are just totally weak as for people who consider themselves “modern”.

Answering the question: no, I’m not a frustrated nerd who can’t find himself a woman or so. I’m just tired of how much fake and unnatural people are today. Many of you wouldn’t like to hear the truth, I know it’s going to hurt your deep feelings. That’s how the change is started, ladies and gentlemen.

Starting point

We live in a crazy world. Today’s kids are literally born in the internet. Young guys are running with smartphones chasing Pokemons, instead of focusing on play in the real life.
I remember a time I was outside for 12 hours a day and didn’t even have a phone.

Everybody knew where everybody was. Intuition! And then came the internet, Myspace, first blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and so on. At the same moment people forgot how to talk to each other, how to communicate with people around. The new currency was not the trust, loyalty, fun, but likes, shares and popularity.

If you go on the street right now and talk to a stranger, most of them will either not notice you or will look at you like you tried to kill them.

 

Problems with modern women

Let’s start with women, because I think the problem is a little bigger on this side. No offence girls, but there is a lot you need to do to make your and our lives easier.

If you hear about stories like faked rape attempts coming from a “princess”, which hurts the entire guy’s family and life, and in effect he commits suicide… no fucking way, not in my world.

By the way, have you already stopped looking for your prince on a white horse? Chivalry is dead, but it looks like the princesses are still around.

1. Women living in social medias and their unrealistic expectations

I know stories of girls who were sad, totally disappointed, just because she posted a new photo, waited half an hour and got only 200 likes. Her reaction was like “OMG!!! WANTED TO HAVE 250!”. The first world problems, next drama please!

My God, sometimes I still can’t believe you people have lost your mind so much.

Lots of women these days are being raised with the idea that the only man worth their time or attention is a kind of superhero. The so called “superhero” has all the skills of the world, knowledge of Tesla, he is peaceful like praying monks and does everything for you. The social medias only make it worse. When you start getting 200-300 likes per photo, it’s natural that many guys will write things like “you are so beautiful” and you think… “I have so many admirers, I deserve only the best guys”. Hollywood and magazines only strengthen that.

As a result, the guy has to: approach, make an interest, take care of the date schedule, stay in touch, lead the relationship. And often if he says one wrong word or he’s just shy, there is no next chance, because you have much other options and don’t want to waste your time…

Women think they have to: put almost naked photos on their instagrams, do their makeup and go on the streets. Nothing else, because “guys will take care of it”. Really?

At the same time another group of women pushes lots of aggression towards real masculinity, making it shameful. Women started fighting men, because they are too much masculine when they play their role planned by nature. What a crazy world!

I know, hypergamy and all the stuff.  It lets you lie, be passive in the relationship and reject for everything, with no consequences. The excuse is your biology, because “you will always find somebody better”.

How to fix it:

If you want men to keep approaching you (because obviously you are a princess, so you can’t do it first), here are some tips:

  • Stop behaving like you are the most important here. If somebody has 50 less likes than you, it doesn’t matter he’s less valuable
  • Stop rejecting people just because they don’t speak like Shakespeare or they don’t look like famous actors
  • Start appreciating people based on who they are, not what they have and what they could do for you
  • If you see a nice guy on the street, in a cinema, shop, park, whatever, stop waiting for his action. He may already be tired of all these games your friends (and you) have been doing for all these years. Say hi to him. Let’s see how he is going to respond. What are you afraid of? Making effort you are not used to do? There is a very little chance he will kill you and a great chance you will find a love of your life. Try it!
  • The last thing is a challenge. Don’t open your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or whatever you use for a week. Most of you will not be able to do this, because you are completely addicted to likes, shares and to constantly checking if people still like your half naked photos (yes, of course you are not this type of girl – your friends are…)

2. Women with double standards who are passive, act and lie

The society says: you are a princess, so you should never call first, never make the first move, men should do everything for you, they should fight for your time and attention. There is a gender equality, but obviously you take only the best parts of it. UNLESS… he is a superhero, then he’s worth your precious time.

In every movie out there you see there is a romantic journey between two people. So you like a guy or you are in a relationship with somebody you love. Is your only role sitting on a sofa all the day? Do you really want your relationship look like that, do you see a future of it?

Do men need to tell you what to do, because it’s too difficult to do something first? You fought for gender equality, so where did it go?

You like to do silent days for no reason. You are ready to lie all the time just because you have no courage to say “Sorry Max, I don’t like you. It’s nothing personal, I just didn’t like your behaviour so I think we are not going to be a good fit”. I understand it’s as difficult as climbing Mount Everest, but… show some respect to other person and TELL HIM.

It’s easier to say “let’s become friends”. Guys hear it so much… I think somebody has already created 10 hours YouTube mix with all these bullshit answers.

For some weird reason you like to do these mind games. You like to play hard to get and I could make a list of dozen other weird behaviours. Men hate it and many of them will leave as soon as they realize what you do. At least these more self-confident, because for them this kind of behaviour is unacceptable, unless you are 13.

If girls play their games, people say “they are just girls”, but if men finally started to do the same, if would be “these f***ing men are not men anymore, they don’t deserve us”.

There are some women who also use sex not as a pleasure for both partners, but as a weapon in the relationship. XXI century, please… you “modern” people…

Add some anti-harassment laws, where harrassment can be saying “hi” and mission accomplished. You have a society full of deeply sick people who can’t communicate each other.

How to fix it:

  • Start improving your personality. No more princess syndrom, it’s time to open your eyes. If you like a man on the street, go and say hi. If you liked a man you’ve just dated, send him a nice text. To keep it simple: let go of all the illusions and start behaving like a partner, not like a princess (or just rent a white horse/unicorn and move to a wonderland)
  • Clarify and communicate your intentions and reactions. If you don’t like him, just say it in a kind way, why do you hide it? Do you think he’s stupid? If he gets angry – it’s his problem. Just tell the truth, no more lies
  • If you see your man got a really weak idea, propose something different. You know a nice place where you both can go? Just say it, don’t be passive. Let your man lead the relationship, but don’t behave like a totally passive doll
  • Important: keep questioning everything the society, books, magazines tell you. It’s called social programming and it’s on every step of your life – movies, friends’ stories, magazines…

 

Problems with modern men

No, you guys are not clean. First of all you forgot who you are and what does it mean to be a man.

1. More and more men get weaker every day

If you have never had any girl or woman, your self esteem may be low. You may think “I am useless”, “it’s not for me” etc.

Good, because it’s not somebody’s role to accept you, love you, adore you. Stop looking for it. Why don’t you give it to yourself? Just like that, you don’t need a reason to love and accept yourself.

I know it’s not common, you won’t hear about it in the TV or Hollywood movies. It’s not easy either, but it’s definitely worth it. If you start accepting and loving yourself, only then you will be able to share it with others.

Do you think you’re not enough for this girl, you don’t deserve her or anything else you want? The truth is you’re wrong. At this very moment you have everything you need, just make an action.

You don’t have to be a famous alpha if it doesn’t resonate with you, but start doing something. Plan your life. Start talking to people, be kind, live with your rules and values. All of it becomes natural if you stop listening to deeply sick society and listen to yourself.

2. Men are being passive

The masculine energy is about doing, being active. If you like a girl on the street – say hi, ask her to go out somewhere. I know there is a chance you will meet some of the princesses, but just let them wait for their princes.

Rejection is a part of this game called “life”.

Call to somebody you haven’t seen for long. If you dreamed about starting your own business, asking for a raise, going to a journey of your life… tell yourself, honestly, what have you already done? Dream without a deadline is just a dream. There is a high chance it will never happen.

Put a date, write down what you have to do (todo list) and change it to a goal with a date. Good luck, no need to say thanks. It’s time to take life in your own hands.

Wow, it starts getting “coachy”.

 

Common problems for all of us

1. Escaping from your problems

Especially emotional ones.

Emotions can be difficult for us, really. You women meet each other, talk a lot, cry and let the situation go. Society told us, men, we can’t do it, because “men don’t cry”, “you can’t be a pussy” and hundreds of other stupid beliefs.

Do you really prefer to keep silent and wait for the problem to fix itself? It never worked and never will.

How to fix it:

  • Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion comes. You will start building emotional intelligence and you’ll understand yourself much more than you think. It’s one of the best time investments in your life and one of the best ways to do it is Letting Go technique by David R. Hawkins
  • If you feel somebody has hurt you, but he doesn’t know about that, one of the ways would be to talk to him, directly, about what you feel. If you don’t want to do this, because you know he’s one of these “modern” people or you just don’t want to, you could write him a letter that you don’t send (method comes from Radical Forgiveness method)
  • Deal with your past. Now you know you can work on it, but back then you didn’t. The past, if not processed, has very powerful impact on your current life, because back then you learned that you can’t say this, can’t go there, can’t do something else. Your mom and dad, school, people around told you these things and you believed them. But if you have grown up and didn’t change these programs, believe or not, they still are affecting your life

2. People stopped cooperating, they started to be enemies

I really miss the times where people were open to each other. In 70s, 80s, 90s, it was fine to just go outside, talk to each other about anything and have a nice time. Clothes were quite the same, not so much people were focused on money and career.

I remember time when everybody was talking to everybody around. Just like that, it was natural. They didn’t need any reason to start a conversation, they just talked.

Today, if you feel uncomfortable, you get a phone. If you don’t know what to do with yourself, you get a phone. I know the virtual reality is super comfortable, but the real life is far beyond it.

3. Thinking that someone will read your mind, criticizing yourself etc.

Say it, express it.

If somebody hurt you – tell him and talk about it, and there is no need to be aggressive here. If you are afraid of something, like on a job interview – say it in a natural way. There is a high chance lots of this fear will go away.

Don’t make people read your mind all the time. It just doesn’t work today.

Appreciate yourself

When was the last time you told yourself: “I love you”, “I appreciate you”, “I forgive you”, “you did a great job”. Probably, just as many people, you have no idea when did you say it last time. Society told you “you can’t be happy unless… [X Y Z]”.

Summary

It’s already 2700+ words and these are actually the basics of the relationships problems we have today.

The more you escape your feeling and believe the society, magazines, movies etc., the more you are a robot. They probably have good intentions, but they are not good for your life.

I know, this is just a grasp of the topic and a much bigger problem. But I can’t just sit, wait and see how these people are literally destroying each other in the most stupid way – by being passive, manipulating and escaping their own problems. A paradox – how can you escape yourself?…

Fortunately, most of these things are only social programs so it’s easy enough to fix it.

One of the easiest ways to deal with them is to get a piece of paper, note a behavior that you think is not right and note what you would like in exchange.

If you only start to consciously understand, notice when and in what situations the behavior comes in, you will also see it next time, next time… And each and every time you will remember about the better version you can use.

Then there is a high chance you will switch the behavior to the new one, because you will start to understand it’s better for you.

Hopefully this article gave you at least a little motivation to think about changing yourself, for the greater good.

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Have fun!

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